Embrace Your Identity Play-doh
Many people I chat with feel stuck in what they’re doing, because they don’t realize a secret that baseball taught me… your identity is completely malleable.
It’s critical to accept that your identity is always changing, in order to grow and develop as a person. Embracing any type of change is scary - but it also leads to new experiences and opportunities.
Learning From a Sport I Adore
Changing my identity in the game of baseball showed me I can change my identity in the game of life too.
“Saks, what the f*** was that?” my coach demanded in the dugout after we both processed what just happened.
I was a Freshman pitching back in the familiar Florida humidity in front of my family and a few hundred UCF fans. That night should have felt like a homecoming. Despite being back in my home state, I was far from comfortable.
It was a tight 1-run game in the 6th inning- my job was to keep it that way. I was erratic and unsure where each pitch was going. That night, I failed to step into the identity of a reliable relief pitcher.
My identity changed under those Friday night lights. The identity of a pitcher and player the entire team had known me to be. Saks the “strike thrower” was no more. Doubt had crept in.
The Start of my “Command Issues”
My “command issues” persisted out of the bullpen for 2 years. At times, I was as precise as Picasso. Others, I was as erratic as the Nasdaq. I couldn’t emotionally regulate myself and strike the balance between energetic, aggressive, yet collected.
I couldn’t consistently find the pitcher I once was and knew I could be.
I had a 2 year identity crisis within the game of baseball. The sport and baseball diamond that once felt like home felt like a prison. When pitching in Summer leagues with a carefree mindset, the field was my playground. But when I pitched in the Northeastern climate and added pressure, the field was my prison.
Reflecting on my experiences as a baseball player, I see endless parallels to how embracing similar changes help create my most fulfilling new lives as a writer, community builder, digital marketer and social entrepreneur.
Identity Play-Doh
Identity is simply a series of patterns you’ve done time and time again. Most people walk around with a reactionary identity, molded by their environment and external factors. They haven’t taken the time to be the artist of their own life that works with their metaphorical identity play-doh.
Our identity is shaped by our choices and actions - we have the power to choose who we want to be. We’re not limited by our pasts - we can create a new identity at any point in time. We can be whoever we aspire to be.
Accepting Identity as Ever-evolving
I learned this from reflecting on “my baseball identity crisis” which intensified my Junior year. I’d changed my pitching mechanics to become a “side-arm” sinkerballer, and I was inconsistent as ever.
Sure, 95% of the time when my mechanics were “on”, the ball would beautifully release from my hand, creating aggressive, deceptive downward spin, causing hitters to swing and miss.
The other 5% was pretty ugly. The ball would fly nowhere near the catcher’s target. I had the borderline “yips”, which was always searing the back burner of my mind. Some teammates were afraid to hit off me in scrimmages because there was a decent chance I’d plunk them.
Changing my baseball identity:
Fast forward to my Senior Year, 10 weeks after getting Sports Hernia surgery. I got an opportunity to re-imagine my identity as a baseball player.
Despite not picking up a bat in 4 years, I knew this was my moment to imaginatively create my new identity for the remainder of the season.
I remember exactly where I was when I had the epiphany. “Holy s***, I’m going to make this work” as I picked up my bat and helmet from our Equipment Manager. In my mind (before my play on the field proved it) “I was a great Outfielder and Hitter”.
This truth deeply resonated within my body and shook my core. My confined and cramped feelings finally burst into comfort and clarity - my world expanded and I felt lighter, almost buoyant.
Nobody, even my closest teammates believed in me, but I had the deepest self conviction. That season, I surprised my teammates. I surprised my coaches. But I didn’t surprise myself when I led the team in several offensive categories.
Be an artist with your play-doh
If you were to think about your identity as play-doh… What type of play-doh are you creating with? The old, stale play-doh that cracks, and can’t be built with? Or the fresh kind, right out of the tub?
Both identity and play-doh are malleable. We should all be the metaphorical creators of our own lives, recognizing that we can mold and shape our identity over time.
While this secret was revealed to me through baseball, it’s more importantly given me the confidence and courage to set and tackle new goals. It’s enabled me to become a writer, to launch (and fail) several past ventures, step into my identity as an entrepreneur, build a digital running community for 1st-time runners, and become a ghostwriter, consultant, and more.
And I want to help you have that moment too.
If you want to be a grocer, or a general, or a politician, or a judge, you will invariably become it; that is your punishment. If you never know what you want to be, if you live what some might call the dynamic life but what I will call the artistic life, if each day you are unsure of who you are and what you know you will never become anything, and that is your reward.
Moving through this life is a privilege, and you can develop the same gratitude for these rewards like Oscar & I both do. How, you ask?
By reinventing yourself every morning. By not knowing who you will become. Not being a noun, but being a verb.
Embracing change in who you are can create a more fulfilling life, as it allows us to grow and evolve as people. Regardless of what journey you’re embarking on, embrace your inner child, grab some fresh play-doh, and embrace the artistic life.
This is an evolving publication that explores the intersections of health, technology, and some philosophical riffs too. Today’s publication opens up into who I am and who I’ll need to become to positively impact millions of people’s health, like I intend to.
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what a great issue Adam! Baseball will bring anyone to their knees but learn lifelong skills. No wonder companies always hire athletes!!! Keep up the great work!!!!!